How do we learn? We ask questions and hope that we understand the answers. The what, how, where, why and who are the things which we need to know, so that we can understand the world around us.

I’ve been getting a lot of questions from my daughter recently. She’s entered the why phase and wants to know everything. There has been some easy ones to answer, like where does our food come from. She seems happy with Asda as an answer for that! There has also been some harder questions, particularly about her brother. Trying to explain the death of a baby to a 3-year-old is tricky, but she seems to be ok with the answers we’re giving her. We’ve chosen to tell her the truth about how his heart didn’t work properly and the doctors couldn’t fix it. That part she seems to understand. Where her brother has gone, we have taken the star route for that and she knows that Theo is shining down on us from the sky. I’m on the hunt for a book that is suitable to help her understand a bit better.

There has also been the very fun question of how will the baby come out from her aunts tummy! That question needs a bit more in-depth explanation, but it needs to be on the right level for her understanding. She knows that the doctors had to cut her out of my tummy, but her question was will the doctors do that for her cousin. When I said that I’m not sure, that was when she asked, “so how will the baby come out?” So I’m thinking that may involve a book purchase as well.

Being able to answer more of her questions will, I think, make her even more keen to learn about the world. She is such a curious little girl and her understanding seems to be getting better all the time. I know I don’t have the answers for everything, but I will always do my best to try to give her an answer that makes sense. We have always said that we don’t want to fob her off with childish answers. We want her to be able to understand things properly, so that she doesn’t get confused later in life.

Being able to properly answer any questions I may get from potential clients is obviously one of my main focuses. Being so new to the world of self employment, I still have a lot of learn about the how and the why. Generally speaking I know that I can find the right information for any potential clients. If I am not sure, then I’m not going to lie, I will tell them that I don’t know, but I will endeavour to find out the answer for them. Sometimes just the fact of putting that effort in to try to help, that can be enough.

Questions don’t have to be a bad thing, they open up our world to more discoveries and make us more aware of different things, different people, different perspectives. Questions are necessary to further our understanding and they make our lives more interesting. I was a bit surprised that my 3-year-old is already asking such complex questions, but it shows that she is ready for more information and that is not a bad thing. She wants to learn, so I am ready to teach her and I am ready to learn with her as well.

This time last year it felt like my whole world had fallen apart. Losing Theo was the most painful thing I have ever experienced. The physical pain of going through labour, to give birth to a son that I knew I couldn’t take home, that was bad enough. The pain of the loss afterwards, that empty feeling inside me and the not knowing what I was going to do, that pain was unimaginable. Through all that pain and suffering though, I have found my strength. I feel like a much, much stronger person today because of what I have been through.

I have experienced other losses before, my missed miscarriage in 2013 after our first round of IVF treatment, that was painful. Losing my aunt in August 2017, that was very painful as well. There have been other lesser known about events in my life as well which have caused me a lot of pain and torment. All of these things have made me realise how much a person is able to cope with though and how through adversity, we can find out strength.

The last year has not been plain sailing in any way, there have been bumps along the way. We have had our ups and downs. Ultimately though, where I am right now, this is a good place to be. I have an incredibly intelligent 3 year old, who is ready to take on the whole world! I have an amazingly supportive husband, who puts up with my moods flitting back and forth. My role in my day job is much better suited to me now and to my circumstances and skills. I have a growing virtual assistant business with 2 new clients this year, so far. My side business of the make-up provides me with a little extra cash and a lot of extra confidence. I have made some amazing new friends through my make-up business and also through my new found love of health and fitness. My body is in much better shape now and I have a metabolic age of 19! How many 34 year olds can say that?

All in all, the year has been challenging in more ways than one, but those challenges have made me the woman I am today. I am healthy, I am happy, I am making a good go of running my own 2 businesses and I have a great network of supportive family and friends around me.

My loss has made me stronger and for that I want to say thank you. Thank you to my beautiful baby boy for helping me to see how much potential I have. Thank you for being mummys inspiration to try something new. Thank you for helping me to see the beauty in this world and to carry on without you. I will always carry you with me in my heart and you will always be my very much loved son. Thank you Theo for everything.

As a mum sometimes you feel like you need to be an octopus! Having those extra limbs would really come in handy, cooking, cleaning, washing, there’s always some task that needs doing. It can be very exhausting trying to juggle all the different things that need doing around the house, plus 3 different jobs and making sure that I still spend quality time with my daughter and husband.

Some days it can feel like it’s too much to deal with all at once, but somehow we still manage to get through those days. I’m starting to get quite good with all the juggling now, I think! I now have a properly set pattern at my day job and when the end of my shift comes, that’s it, I can go home. So I don’t have any extra pressure there. The amount of time I spend doing my other 2 jobs, the make-up business and my admin job, is down to me. That is all dependent on how many customers I have wanting make-up, which can vary from week to week. Then with my admin work, that is down to how many clients I have. So if I feel that I wouldn’t have the time available to take on a new client, that’s up to me to decide.

The clients I currently have, I know I have the time available to dedicate to them and to the tasks that they need me to do. The specific needs of each individual client will vary, so the amount of time I need to spend on any given task will vary from week to week. This means that I do need to be able to balance my time not only between my clients, but between looking after Maya and the house as well.

The key to efficient multi tasking for me is planning and making lists. I do love a list! That way, I have everything down on paper that is important and I can check things off as I go. A typical multi tasking type of day for me could involve food shopping, preparing make-up orders, responding to client emails, a bit of healthy option baking and a bit of play time with Maya. So it is all about the balance and ensuring that you prioritise the most important things. When you know what your most  important tasks are, that is when you can truly prioritise and  be able to properly multitask efficiently.