Maintaining control of my life is very important to me and something that keeps me going. There have been a lot of situations over the last year where I have not been in control of what has happened. Those moments have really affected me very badly. Being able to take back control of certain aspects of my life has been an important part of my recovery process.

I have written briefly before about taking back control of my health and nutrition. After losing Theo I lost the ability to regulate my diet for a while. My body had let me down yet again, my own body was working against me and hadn’t been able to keep my baby alive. Ultimately, this of course isn’t true and it had nothing to do with the way my body was. But at that point in time I felt like I had no control over what my body was doing, I stopped managing my diet and went into a bit of a spiral. Way too much junk food was consumed over that time period and my diet went sideways, as did my waistline. One day I finally realised that I had lost control and needed to do something about it. The day that I decided to start regulating my diet again was the day that my life started to get back on track.

Emotional triggers like grief can be terrible for losing control of not just your diet, but for losing control of other life aspects. Taking time off of work to allow myself to recover meant that at least I didn’t have to worry about losing control of my emotions in a working environment. The actual career path of my work however, was something that I didn’t feel I had control over anymore and as such, I needed to correct that. My current job does not fulfil me anymore and I don’t enjoy it like I used to. By changing this situation and starting my own business, hopefully I can get back some enjoyment and happiness in my career.

This new career path that I am now on is completely of my own doing and I am the one who is in control of what direction it takes. It’s up to me how fast or slow I choose to take the path as well. Having my own business and being my own boss gives me complete autonomy over every aspect of my job now. That element of control is so important when running your own business. Any potential clients that I may take on over the next few months can be assured that I will be in complete control of my business, as I know how essential it is to have faith in who you are working with.