My husband and I have just celebrated our 8 year wedding anniversary. We’ve been together for 13 years and in that time he has shown me, so many times over, how committed he is to me. It goes without saying that I am equally as committed to him. But the part I want to get across in this blog is how my husband has shown his commitment to me.

Our relationship has been tested several times over, particularly in the last 6 years. We’ve been through more life changing events in that time than some couples experience in a 20 year marriage. Finding out that we had very little chance of conceiving a child naturally was our first test as a couple. We both had to go through tests, attend various appointments and I had numerous invasive procedures before the doctors worked out which method of IVF we needed for our particular problems. Some men don’t like to talk about problems with conceiving as it makes them feel like “less of a man”, but my husband never once complained or asked to stop the testing. He knew how important it was, for both of us, to have a baby. He was there for all the important appointments. He was the one who had to do my very first hormone injection, because I just couldn’t bring myself to stab my own belly with that needle. He was there when that first positive pregnancy test was in my hand. He was there at St Barts when we saw that 5 week old heartbeat on the screen. Then he was there at Basildon hospital at what we thought was my 12 week scan, when the sonographer told us there was no longer any heartbeat.

We endured 2 more failed rounds of treatment and still he was there for everything. He stayed by my side for each lot of egg collection and egg implantation. Each time the pregnancy test came back negative he was there to support me. When we got to round 4 of treatment and they decided to implant 2 frozen embryos to increase my chance of conceiving, he was prepared for the possibility of us having twins. Thank the goddess, only 1 embryo took. As much as we love our daughter unconditionally, the thought of 2 at the same time scares me beyond belief!

Throughout my pregnancy with Maya there were complications. Carl spent a lot of time driving me to and from the hospital, sitting waiting for appointments and calling my parents to keep them up to date on the situation. His utter commitment to me throughout that 9 months was amazing. He suffered from lack of sleep and exhaustion, due to a lot of late nights and overnight stays at the hospital. That part didn’t stop once I had Maya and still continues to this day unfortunately. But I’m sure that is a pretty common parent problem.

Through all of that whole mess of doctors, procedures, appointments and late nights, he never faltered in his commitment to what we wanted; to have our own family. When I unexpectedly got pregnant for a third time, he was completely in shock. We both took a couple of weeks to get our heads around it. It was a very closely kept secret due to our previous history and we both agreed that was the best way. When we found out that our miracle baby had Downs Syndrome, again the commitment that he showed to me and our unborn baby amazed me. He shared my opinion that it didn’t matter that the baby had Downs, that baby was our miracle and we would love it no matter what. When we found out that our unborn baby had a major heart defect and would need surgery within the first 6 months of it’s life, he was there still supporting me whilst trying to come to terms with it himself. He showed the same level of commitment with that pregnancy as he had with Maya. He came to every appointment and every scan. He was there for every hard part of it. That last appointment we had at Southend hospital when the consultant informed us there was no heartbeat, he was there. He was the one who messaged my dad to tell him what had happened and that we needed them to have Maya overnight. He was the one who made the phone calls to our family and friends to tell them the terrible news. He was the one who took time off work to be with me and Maya whilst we recovered from the shock. Most importantly, he was the one who carried Theo’s coffin into the crematorium on the day of the funeral, because he wanted to do that, to show Theo his commitment to him.

The resilience, support and commitment that he has shown me over the last 13 years continues to amaze me every day. He is one of the most unselfish people I know and he will support people that he cares about unconditionally. His unwavering commitment to me through all of these incredibly difficult times has shown me that our marriage can withstand anything. It is this level of commitment that I find to be one of his most attractive qualities.

Commitment is very important to me and I value it highly as a quality. Which is why it is very important to me that I show a high level of commitment to others. This comes naturally to me when it comes to people that I love; my husband, my child, my family. It is also important to me that I show a high level of commitment to any clients who I may come to work with in the future.